Aah, a weekend getaway at the beach with some friends, what could be more relaxing? No kids. No place to be, no schedule, this is really setting the scene.
Sam purchased a livingsocial deal for a two-night stay at a beach along the Oregon Coast, Garibaldi. I had never been there and knew nothing about it. It included a wine tasting. Okay. I made the reservation and invited my good friend Rachel and my sister Yolanda.
Rachel and I left for our trip after work on Friday after work. We made pretty good time, even though Rachel drives like an elderly person (this is not a complaint necessarily, she gets us there, but there is a distinct difference between her driving and my driving: I drive like I have someplace to be, she drives like she's checking out the sights). When we were close we made one stop in Tillamook at the Fred Meyer (p-u!! the smell of cow poo was pervasive!! Strangely though, there were no cows by the Tillamook Cheese Creamery...odd???) so I could by flip-flops because I wanted to walk on the beach once we got to Garibaldi.
When we found where we were staying, we mosey'd on in there was no one at the front desk and I was tempted to ring the bell, but I vacillated because I remembered working doing mammograms and having a bell when I worked weekends and how much I hated when people rang it, or rang it repeatedly (you only need to ring it once, I heard you, there is nothing wrong with my hearing.) Fortunately, I didn't have to contemplate what to do for long, because a slack-jawed yocal came out carrying a half-consumed Coke at 5:00pm, wearing some jeans and red sweatshirt hoodie, with a haircut that looked like a flow-bee could have done the job, yet he probably paid somebody 8.99 for that hair 'style' which was 7.99 more than it was worth. This slack-jawed yocal didn't acknowledge me. Rachel was too busy looking at all the brochures they put out about things you can do in Garibaldi and the surrounding area to even notice this character, "oh, we could go kayaking, or ziplining, or ..." Slack-jaw turned when he saw me and moments later a young lady came out and did her job, adequately. Once checked in, Rachel and I went to the room and texted Yolanda to find out how far away she was and if she wanted us to wait for her before we went to dinner. (of course we did). We drank a bottle of wine while we waited.
When Yolanda finally arrived (and really, it wasn't that long, but long enough for Rachel and I to polish off a bottle of wine, which that's only two and half - three glasses per person). So we had the discussion again about where we were going for dinner and should we drive, or walk or what. We opted to walk, which limits our options and as we walked out the front door, Rachel said, "i'm intrigued by that place." That place being, The Ghosthole. Sounds horrible, because it is (present tense, because I'm sure it remains horrible).
We walk in, it's filled with locals and a couple of out-of-towners such as us (it's like an invisible line was drawn locals here out-of-towners over there) and we sit at a table by the window. There's a pool table near our table and karaoke set up in the corner. A menu is taped to the window and we wait for service. And we wait some more. Eventually someone comes over, but not with menus (because why would a server/waitress come with menus to newly seated customers who don't have them, right?) She asked what we wanted to drink. Water and wine, please. And then she said there was a menu taped to the window, but she could bring another. Yes, that'd be great, thanks, three please. Mind you after the menu arrived, I noticed the options for me were slim. I don't eat meat and I don't eat gluten. So, a garden burger no bun and tater tots, please. I don't think that gets ordered a lot, but it was that or go hungry and I was already hungry.
After "dinner?" Rachel ordered me a shot of what tasted like Malibu rum. People continued to shoot pool and lean their booty over our table. The first time I was like, WTF? I was tempted to drop a tot down someone's pants, but I didn't really want to get that close. But, then it kept happening. No matter how many times I'd say something, and not under my breath, these people were so into this pool game that they had no regard for another. We eventually became friendly with the couple at the table behind us who happened to be from out of town, Rosalinda and Joshua. They were staying at the same place as us and felt this local place was a oddity as well, but was willing to have fun anyway. Besides, after a few drinks, who cares. These people don't know me and karaoke is fun. I give the karaoke master a song that I want to sing with Rachel (the Eurythmics, Sweet Dreams) and we continue drinking and butts continue hanging our direction. One individual hung his booty over and turned after hearing me complain. I told him, his butt had been in our faces so often he should buy us a round of drinks. He said he'd buy Rachel a drink (the White girl). Uh, no. Then he proceeds with, "I like Black people but I don't like Mexicans." What? Yolanda said, "you should meet our friend Rosalinda" Apparently, this slack-jawed yocal goes by the nickname, Boomer (Sam and I had a dog named Boomer, she's dead now) and he lived in a foster home with a Black kid and so he likes Black people. Truly, this whole encounter was like a Russian Roulette game. So crazy!! Who says that?
Rosalinda asked me if I spoke to Boomer when I made my reservation, but when she referred to Boomer, she lovingly referred to him "Did this sweet baby Jesus take your reservation?" Because when he asked her for her name and she said Rosalinda, he said "oh, shit, a Mexican" and after that she said lots of discounts were applied to her visit.
A few other weird things happened while we were there. Like an encounter with someone who said he was paraplegic yet walked and seemed to have use of all four limbs; both arms and both legs, without incident but had a blind cane (perhaps he misunderstood the word paraplegic and thought inability to see with two eyes well??) and said he needed an attorney to help with collecting money for aggravating an old injury if he "slipped and fell", wink, wink. "Cuz, I heard Wal-Mart pays out 30k just to make it go away." Good luck with that, sir.
The moral of this story: avoid the Ghosthole. Drive through Garibaldi. Question livingsocial deals to small Oregon coastal towns you have never been to before. Racism. It is ever present.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Girls on the Run at the Starlight Parade
I volunteered yesterday evening with Girls on the Run and ran with a young girl from Beverly Cleary school in the Starlight Parade 5k fun run. I don't normally do fun runs and I don't normally enter 5k but for a good cause and for a good reason, I will. I love the opportunity to motivate a young girl to run and motivate her to achieve her goals, whatever they may be. It's even more exciting if she is motivated to want to run, then I don't feel like Sisyphus and I'm doing all the work for naught (I have some youth clients like that, so frustrating).
We had our practice 5k several weeks ago, on a day that it was blazing hot and I had forgotten I had agreed to volunteer with Girls on the Run. I was completely unprepared for the run and was wearing a pencil skirt, tee, the wrong bra for running and some Pumas. But, I managed the run just fine and was excited to do the real deal.
I came prepared this time for the Starlight Run. I had a proper running skirt, a sports bra (that's key), running shoes, my trusty unicorn socks, the Girls on the Run issued tee I was told to wear (all though, if it were up to me, I would not have worn a cotton tee, but I can conform when asked to for a good cause) and my shades (they're prescription...better to see you with).
Sam, Eytan and Ayelet were going to drop me off. But, when they got there, the girls said they wanted to see mommy run (okay, you've seen mommy run lots of races, bigger races than a 5k, but, okay). If Daddy can find a parking space in this madness, you'll be in luck. I arrived as I was told: before 6:30 and the field was quiet. So much for everyone else being punctual. The rest of my own team wasn't even there except for maybe one other runner who arrived at 5:30 (she misread the email she told me, ouch!) Finally, people start arriving and then Sam texts and says they found a parking spot and will be coming down shortly. Low and behold, the event doesn't even start until 7:45. 7:45?? Why on earth did I need to be there by 6:30? I could have been there by 7:00 and things would have been just fine. That's okay, its for a good cause. Where is my running partner anyway? That's cool, when she gets here it's not like she and I will be having some deep intellectual conversation. Sam continues to walk around with the girls to see what free goodies they can find. Then, Ayelet spots some balloons, the kind that get shaped into animals and flowers and such. Some kid is sitting under an umbrella and has some balloons shaped into a hat of some sort on his head and she wants one. Sam takes the girls over and they go bananas over the balloons. This kids has quite the entrepreneurial spirit, the little asshole is charging for the balloons. Seriously you little shit? That bag of balloons cost maybe $2 and you're charging $1.00 for balloon flower? You're lucky the balloon will pop before I try to tie it around your spindly neck. Sam didn't bring money because he wasn't planning on staying, just dropping me off and the only money I have is for the bus ride to get home after the run. When Ayelet finds out she is not getting a balloon, she melted down in a snotty mess of tears and sobs and "I want a balloon!!" What is it with kids and balloons anyway? After that, I pass along the tid-bit of information that the run doesn't even start until 7:45 (it's not even 7:00). WHAAA?? Well, now that Sam is armed with this piece of knowledge, it's time to head out. There is no way the restless troops, well, at least not Ayelet, can last much longer. Kisses and hugs all around and hasta luego, buenos noches and have fun at Burgerville.
Finally, my running partner arrives. Yay! For the practice 5k I had two running partners. Tessa and Sophie. For the Starlight, I was told that I was down to 1: Tessa. Tessa never seemed that into me as a running partner, but whatever. I was introduced to Tessa's Aunt who seemed very nice and she was ready to run as well. Sophie arrived with her mom, who remembered my name, which I thought was impressive (especially considering I did not remember hers). I broke the news that I was no longer her running partner and Sophie looked saddened, which made me feel bad. It was kind of weird especially knowing Tessa seemed to have such an indifference toward me, I got the feeling that if I had told her I wasn't going to be her running partner she would have continued putting on her glowstick bracelets like nothing happened. So, I was a little taken aback when Sophie looked a little dejected by my news. However, after speaking with the coaches, it turns out Sophie's running buddy did not show up (how dare you not show up??). After speaking with Tessa's aunt who used to run regularly and was dressed to run, she agreed to run with Tessa and Tessa seemed okay with that arrangement. I would run with Sophie, and all would be right with the world again. Sophie made me a bracelet, so sweet, her mom took our pictures and we chatted about our master plan for the run and it felt great. I felt I had a like-minded running partner; not overly chatty, serious, but not joyless. Overall, she is great kid.
We chatted about her goal for the run and she said she didn't have one; just finish. She said she also wanted to run the whole thing. Done. We can make that happen. The run started off slow, because its so crowded, we talked a little bit. We talked about her pace, if she felt good with it. We chatted about costumes we saw on the course. Then I asked her about getting high-fives from kids along the parade route, I said if you want to get high-fives you need to run along the sides. At first Sophie said, nah, and shook her head that she wasn't interested. I kept telling her she was nuts, that's the best part of the Starlight Parade run. It's like all these people are out here for you, Sophie, cheering You on. Sophie! Sophie! You can't let your fans down, don't leave them hanging. I'll start, then you get some. It's fun! I love that kind of thing. High-fives from little kids is awesome!! Eventually, Sophie was really feeling it. I was so proud of her. She was running in front of me with her hand out, reaching down to give little kids sitting on the ground high fives, all while maintaining a smooth stride. Sophie truly made it look effortless like she had been doing this running thing and giving high-fives for a long time. I kept envisioning tripping over some kids crocs and toppling over and having some bloody shoulder or elbow to contend with for the last mile, fortunately it didn't happen, but bending over to high-five a little kiddo sitting on the ground is putting myself in a precarious position and I've got farther to bend over than Sophie.
Sophie took the hills like a master and finished strong. I couldn't have been more proud of my running partner. I am so glad that I volunteered with Girls on the Run. I have spoken about it with Eytan and Ayelet and eagerly await when they are old enough to participate so I can have them as my running partners and I can coach a group of young girls at their school. It was such a rewarding experience.
Then came time to get the heck out of dodge. I was planning on taking the bus home, but because of the Starlight Parade I couldn't even figure out where the buses were picking up from. I decided I would just run home once I got to the east side of the river or at least to the Hawthorne Bridge; I was thinking, it wouldn't be that difficult to get to the east side of the river. Boy howdy was I wrong. I am not a parade person, but those parade people are serious! Listen, that's great you enjoy a good 'show', but I just want to get across the street in the most direct route as possible and that would be a straight line, in this case that would be through the parade route. I don't want to obstruct your view, I don't want to see the parade I just want to get across the street and I don't want any trouble.
It all seemed simple at first as I moseyed down the street, then I came upon Broadway where the parade route was performing. A group of clowns at the corner and a bit north a group of cops with some guns or flags or something sharp, either way, I didn't want to bother with them...cops are trigger happy with brown people (then they make up some lame excuse about why it was the brown persons fault to justify their trigger finger and their internal investigations always seems to back it up..., so it was best to stay with the clowns even if they are weird). I asked several people if I could get by because I wanted to cross the street. These people seemed nice enough and they let me eek by and I dashed through a troupe of clowns doing their thing (you could probably come up with a joke here; what happens when a lawyer crosses a clown?)
I thought I was in the clear of the parade. I continued east, saw some other parade watchers getting upset with people stopping and standing in front of them, not me of course, because I know how to keep it moving and I'm not interested in stopping to watch. My goal: go home. I would take the bus, but I still can't figure out where the buses are running from. I see them, but it's almost like some urban legend at this point. I see the bus and its almost like it vanishes into thin air, besides it's going the wrong direction and its several blocks away...how would I get to it with this parade in the way?
I keep walking and wouldn't you know it there is still more parade route down here, curses!! I really don't need this right now. This is a corner heavy with people, too. And, I see lawn chairs, lots of them and blankets. These people are clearly in for the long haul and they probably don't want me traipsing on their blanket (but should that really be their concern if they are laying their blanket on the dirty ass street where homeless people pee and poo and drunkards throw-up? And police horses poo?) I stop at a corner. try to get across the street by asking people, excuse me, pardon me, I just want to get across the street. I am told by some woman with a very thick accent, they aren't letting people cross, "what?" They aren't letting people cross. Another woman is standing next to me and she says she just came through here a few minutes ago. The accented woman says the police won't let people through. I look down the street both directions and don't see police anywhere. Then I start thinking, how are the police going to keep people from crossing? Their is no barricade. The only people I see are some people that look like they could be flaggers or part of a float team, i.e., they have no policing authority. I said, excuse me and start stepping over people and accented lady says, "seewiouzly?" Seriously, mitches. Again, I dash across but on the other side, it's camping chairs with the arm rests all touching so now I need to try to step over all these stinking chairs without falling. Damn you people! One person, one person moved his chair a smidge to allow me to get by. Thank you, sir. The rest of you, well, you know what you can do to yourselves. It's not like I was obstructing your view by sitting in front of you, I was trying to get past you d-bags, I don't care about the parade, I'm not a parade person (we'll see if this changes when the girls are older).
Finally, I made it to the foot of the Hawthorne Bridge and I was able to run home from there, to what amounted to another 5k. No crowds, just city traffic and traffic lights, the usual. But, overall, what a great night. I'm so proud of my running partner and I would absolutely volunteer with Girls on the Run next year.
We had our practice 5k several weeks ago, on a day that it was blazing hot and I had forgotten I had agreed to volunteer with Girls on the Run. I was completely unprepared for the run and was wearing a pencil skirt, tee, the wrong bra for running and some Pumas. But, I managed the run just fine and was excited to do the real deal.
I came prepared this time for the Starlight Run. I had a proper running skirt, a sports bra (that's key), running shoes, my trusty unicorn socks, the Girls on the Run issued tee I was told to wear (all though, if it were up to me, I would not have worn a cotton tee, but I can conform when asked to for a good cause) and my shades (they're prescription...better to see you with).
Sam, Eytan and Ayelet were going to drop me off. But, when they got there, the girls said they wanted to see mommy run (okay, you've seen mommy run lots of races, bigger races than a 5k, but, okay). If Daddy can find a parking space in this madness, you'll be in luck. I arrived as I was told: before 6:30 and the field was quiet. So much for everyone else being punctual. The rest of my own team wasn't even there except for maybe one other runner who arrived at 5:30 (she misread the email she told me, ouch!) Finally, people start arriving and then Sam texts and says they found a parking spot and will be coming down shortly. Low and behold, the event doesn't even start until 7:45. 7:45?? Why on earth did I need to be there by 6:30? I could have been there by 7:00 and things would have been just fine. That's okay, its for a good cause. Where is my running partner anyway? That's cool, when she gets here it's not like she and I will be having some deep intellectual conversation. Sam continues to walk around with the girls to see what free goodies they can find. Then, Ayelet spots some balloons, the kind that get shaped into animals and flowers and such. Some kid is sitting under an umbrella and has some balloons shaped into a hat of some sort on his head and she wants one. Sam takes the girls over and they go bananas over the balloons. This kids has quite the entrepreneurial spirit, the little asshole is charging for the balloons. Seriously you little shit? That bag of balloons cost maybe $2 and you're charging $1.00 for balloon flower? You're lucky the balloon will pop before I try to tie it around your spindly neck. Sam didn't bring money because he wasn't planning on staying, just dropping me off and the only money I have is for the bus ride to get home after the run. When Ayelet finds out she is not getting a balloon, she melted down in a snotty mess of tears and sobs and "I want a balloon!!" What is it with kids and balloons anyway? After that, I pass along the tid-bit of information that the run doesn't even start until 7:45 (it's not even 7:00). WHAAA?? Well, now that Sam is armed with this piece of knowledge, it's time to head out. There is no way the restless troops, well, at least not Ayelet, can last much longer. Kisses and hugs all around and hasta luego, buenos noches and have fun at Burgerville.
Finally, my running partner arrives. Yay! For the practice 5k I had two running partners. Tessa and Sophie. For the Starlight, I was told that I was down to 1: Tessa. Tessa never seemed that into me as a running partner, but whatever. I was introduced to Tessa's Aunt who seemed very nice and she was ready to run as well. Sophie arrived with her mom, who remembered my name, which I thought was impressive (especially considering I did not remember hers). I broke the news that I was no longer her running partner and Sophie looked saddened, which made me feel bad. It was kind of weird especially knowing Tessa seemed to have such an indifference toward me, I got the feeling that if I had told her I wasn't going to be her running partner she would have continued putting on her glowstick bracelets like nothing happened. So, I was a little taken aback when Sophie looked a little dejected by my news. However, after speaking with the coaches, it turns out Sophie's running buddy did not show up (how dare you not show up??). After speaking with Tessa's aunt who used to run regularly and was dressed to run, she agreed to run with Tessa and Tessa seemed okay with that arrangement. I would run with Sophie, and all would be right with the world again. Sophie made me a bracelet, so sweet, her mom took our pictures and we chatted about our master plan for the run and it felt great. I felt I had a like-minded running partner; not overly chatty, serious, but not joyless. Overall, she is great kid.
We chatted about her goal for the run and she said she didn't have one; just finish. She said she also wanted to run the whole thing. Done. We can make that happen. The run started off slow, because its so crowded, we talked a little bit. We talked about her pace, if she felt good with it. We chatted about costumes we saw on the course. Then I asked her about getting high-fives from kids along the parade route, I said if you want to get high-fives you need to run along the sides. At first Sophie said, nah, and shook her head that she wasn't interested. I kept telling her she was nuts, that's the best part of the Starlight Parade run. It's like all these people are out here for you, Sophie, cheering You on. Sophie! Sophie! You can't let your fans down, don't leave them hanging. I'll start, then you get some. It's fun! I love that kind of thing. High-fives from little kids is awesome!! Eventually, Sophie was really feeling it. I was so proud of her. She was running in front of me with her hand out, reaching down to give little kids sitting on the ground high fives, all while maintaining a smooth stride. Sophie truly made it look effortless like she had been doing this running thing and giving high-fives for a long time. I kept envisioning tripping over some kids crocs and toppling over and having some bloody shoulder or elbow to contend with for the last mile, fortunately it didn't happen, but bending over to high-five a little kiddo sitting on the ground is putting myself in a precarious position and I've got farther to bend over than Sophie.
Sophie took the hills like a master and finished strong. I couldn't have been more proud of my running partner. I am so glad that I volunteered with Girls on the Run. I have spoken about it with Eytan and Ayelet and eagerly await when they are old enough to participate so I can have them as my running partners and I can coach a group of young girls at their school. It was such a rewarding experience.
Then came time to get the heck out of dodge. I was planning on taking the bus home, but because of the Starlight Parade I couldn't even figure out where the buses were picking up from. I decided I would just run home once I got to the east side of the river or at least to the Hawthorne Bridge; I was thinking, it wouldn't be that difficult to get to the east side of the river. Boy howdy was I wrong. I am not a parade person, but those parade people are serious! Listen, that's great you enjoy a good 'show', but I just want to get across the street in the most direct route as possible and that would be a straight line, in this case that would be through the parade route. I don't want to obstruct your view, I don't want to see the parade I just want to get across the street and I don't want any trouble.
It all seemed simple at first as I moseyed down the street, then I came upon Broadway where the parade route was performing. A group of clowns at the corner and a bit north a group of cops with some guns or flags or something sharp, either way, I didn't want to bother with them...cops are trigger happy with brown people (then they make up some lame excuse about why it was the brown persons fault to justify their trigger finger and their internal investigations always seems to back it up..., so it was best to stay with the clowns even if they are weird). I asked several people if I could get by because I wanted to cross the street. These people seemed nice enough and they let me eek by and I dashed through a troupe of clowns doing their thing (you could probably come up with a joke here; what happens when a lawyer crosses a clown?)
I thought I was in the clear of the parade. I continued east, saw some other parade watchers getting upset with people stopping and standing in front of them, not me of course, because I know how to keep it moving and I'm not interested in stopping to watch. My goal: go home. I would take the bus, but I still can't figure out where the buses are running from. I see them, but it's almost like some urban legend at this point. I see the bus and its almost like it vanishes into thin air, besides it's going the wrong direction and its several blocks away...how would I get to it with this parade in the way?
I keep walking and wouldn't you know it there is still more parade route down here, curses!! I really don't need this right now. This is a corner heavy with people, too. And, I see lawn chairs, lots of them and blankets. These people are clearly in for the long haul and they probably don't want me traipsing on their blanket (but should that really be their concern if they are laying their blanket on the dirty ass street where homeless people pee and poo and drunkards throw-up? And police horses poo?) I stop at a corner. try to get across the street by asking people, excuse me, pardon me, I just want to get across the street. I am told by some woman with a very thick accent, they aren't letting people cross, "what?" They aren't letting people cross. Another woman is standing next to me and she says she just came through here a few minutes ago. The accented woman says the police won't let people through. I look down the street both directions and don't see police anywhere. Then I start thinking, how are the police going to keep people from crossing? Their is no barricade. The only people I see are some people that look like they could be flaggers or part of a float team, i.e., they have no policing authority. I said, excuse me and start stepping over people and accented lady says, "seewiouzly?" Seriously, mitches. Again, I dash across but on the other side, it's camping chairs with the arm rests all touching so now I need to try to step over all these stinking chairs without falling. Damn you people! One person, one person moved his chair a smidge to allow me to get by. Thank you, sir. The rest of you, well, you know what you can do to yourselves. It's not like I was obstructing your view by sitting in front of you, I was trying to get past you d-bags, I don't care about the parade, I'm not a parade person (we'll see if this changes when the girls are older).
Finally, I made it to the foot of the Hawthorne Bridge and I was able to run home from there, to what amounted to another 5k. No crowds, just city traffic and traffic lights, the usual. But, overall, what a great night. I'm so proud of my running partner and I would absolutely volunteer with Girls on the Run next year.
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