Why does my elbow hurt???

All day today, I kept wondering why my elbow was hurting.  I rubbed my elbow thinking, dang, that really hurts, I can't even think what happened.  In the car on the way home, I was thinking I can't wait to get this jacket off to take a look at my elbow to see if there is a bruise or something.  Then of course, something else comes up and then it slips my mind.  But, eventually, my mom brought my girls home and I was chatting with Eytan who said something about having a bruise somewhere and that reminded me of my bruise.  At that point Sam was home and now as a family, we could compare owwees. I told Sam my elbow had been hurting all day and I couldn't think of why.  Sam asked if I blamed Barni (his dog).  Which, strangely I hadn't even thought to blame Barni --even though I usually do blame her because she grates my nerves and is the source of much angst in my life.  Uh, hmm, let me think this through now that you raise the issue.

This weekend, I did go running with Barni.  Barni, a dane-lab mix, who is not quite a year-old, and full of puppy energy, needs a lot of exercise and time playing to tire her out so she is bearable in the house.  Otherwise there is the constant threat that my foot will be up her tuchus.  All the time when I am about to go for a run Sam says, "are you going take Barni?"  I usually succumb to his request and ultimately take her with me, even though I do not want to.  She is a relatively good running dog, but just not with me.  Every time I have gone running with Barni lately, the B (take it however you so choose, but she is a female dog, so it's not necessarily pejorative to call her a bitch, it is accurate...in multiple ways)...but, Barni has effing tripped me.

Trip #1:  I went running with Barni and we were near the golf course on 28th across from Reed College.  I was looking straight ahead as I generally do, it was a slight uphill.  Barni, following her lab instinct (look a squirrel/duck/goose/bird/leaf, it-moved-I must-go-for-it instinct), or dane goofiness (should I run over here, or over there?) or puppy can't focus on anything, ran in my path causing me to trip and fall forward over her, tripping on my wrist and scraping my knee and palms of my hands.  After I got up, I was so flipping angry at the bitch, I wanted her to die and get run over by a truck.  No such luck.  And, the leash was still around my wrist so I would have had to undo the wrapping of the leash from around my wrist to save myself to sacrifice her, believe me, I could have done it if the opportunity had presented itself.  I was that pissed.  Once I got up, I felt horrible.  I'm not a crier, but I felt like crying it hurt so badly.  I was able to pull it together and a few moments later, managed to run again.  I remember thinking my elbow is killing me for several more miles because after I fell, I had rolled onto my elbow.  I thought I may have seriously injured my elbow.  It wasn't until I got home that I even noticed my wrist was a bloody, road rash mess.  Now, it has healed and looks like some horrible bruise and I am scarred for life courtesy of Sam's bitch.  Sam asked me afterwards if Barni looked remorseful.  Seriously, how does a dog look remorseful?  Oy.

Trip #2:  Once again, about to go for a run, Sam asked me if I was going to take Barni.  Fine, against my better judgment, I will take her.  Really, I take her to spare my kids from Barni acting crazy if she were left at home with them.  We were going on a weekend run along the Springwater Corridor.  This trip, was an incomplete trip.  We were crossing the foot bridge that crosses McGloughlin Boulevard.  Once again, Barni can't look forward and zig-zags when she runs with me and she got tangled up with me feet from behind causing me to lose my balance.  This time I did not trip, but I did lose my balance.  I was able to catch myself, but I could completely envision what could/would have happened if I had fallen.  We were right by all the steel and concrete footings and supports on the bridge.  I kept imagining falling and hitting my teeth or face on the bridge and needing reconstructive surgery.  Damn you dog!  I told Sam when I got home, that this was the last time.  No more, I am done running with that dog.  Barni is intentionally trying to trip me so I am not going to take her running with me again.  Sam, ever the supporter of all things Barni, questioned "do you really think Barni has the ability to intentionally try to trip you?"  Generally speaking, I don't think dogs have that higher brain function to be manipulative or to intentionally cause harm to another, however, after these two trips I am beginning to think that Barni is capable.  Partly because she hears me saying how much I want her gone, she uses the runs I take her on as her opportunity to get back at me.  Crazy sounding, I realize, but I think I am on to something.

Trip #3:  This weekend, my last and final run with the bitch.  As I head out and give the girls kisses, queue up my music and out the door.  On the agenda is 9 miles and I'm planning on heading toward Lloyd Center.  All is going well.  Pace is feeling good.  I do hate having to stop for traffic lights, but other than that, it's feeling pretty good.  I'm almost done and a little over 8 miles down and that's when she decided to stick it to me.  Barni tripped me, once again, and this time I fell onto a parked car.  I did not hit the ground at all but hit the car and rolled over it slightly.  Again, I cursed the dog and everything about her.  But, I also am too uptight about my pace to stop so I continued running for another mile to my house at which point I tell Sam his bitch tripped me and that I am no longer taking her running with me: I'm done!

So when I complain about my elbow hurting, it dons on me that the pain is from rolling on that parked car after Barni tripped me.  Yes, I should have blamed Barni for my elbow pain because she is completely to blame.